Every woman has wondered what it must be like to be able to stop a man in his tracks with a single glance. Among the geisha the art of alluring men is not a matter of innate sexuality but a skill they learn. Geisha are not high class courtesans, despite what people think. They are far more mysterious than that. Officially they are entertainers. The word ‘gei-sha’ means ‘arts person’ or ‘artiste’ and their arts include singing, dancing and witty conversation. But their real work of art is themselves. Their secret is to transform themselves into a man’s daydream of what a woman ought to be – the ultimate woman, femininity embodied. They have no need to sell their bodies but many choose to become the mistress of a man rich enough to be able to support their expensive lifestyle. Even then he can never own them. As one man put it, ‘they are like cats. You have to take care of them and feed them, but you can’t get them to jump on your lap if they don’t want to.’
- Putting on the geisha face
The geisha begins her transformation with her make up. Far from trying to improve on nature, the aim is to create a creature of gorgeous artifice. The look begins with very pale foundation topped off with plenty of pale powder. Maiko – trainee geisha – leave an inch of unpainted flesh at the hairline so it looks as if they are wearing a mask. They also paint their shoulders and upper back, leaving a two-pronged fork of unpainted flesh at the nape of the neck.
The next step is to shape the eyebrows into moths’ wings and outline the eyes in black, adding a dab of red lip liner to accentuate the outer edges. The finishing touch is a petal of intensely red safflower lipstick on each lip. Geisha use nightingale droppings as a scrub and slather their hair with camellia nut oil.
- Dressing for mystery/highlighting the nape of the neck
Mystery is far sexier than revealing swathes of flesh. Worn the geisha way, the kimono leaves nearly – but not quite – everything to the imagination. It is crossed high at the front but dips low at the back to reveal the soft skin at the nape of the neck – far more erotic to Japanese eyes than a shapely leg or a plunging cleavage.
- Carrying oneself like a woman
A geisha walks with dainty steps, keeping her body rounded and soft. Big strides and shoulders thrust back is for men. Like dancers geisha make sure that every gesture is feminine and delicate. Standing up, sitting down, opening a door – the smallest movement is performed with grace.
- Play acting
A geisha is an actress. She inhabits a fantasy world a million miles from work and family and welcomes men (and sometimes women) to join her there. In the west we tend to think that one has to be oneself, but it is very liberating not to do so. In the company of a soft, feminine woman, a man can imagine himself a samurai, proud, tough and invincible.
- Flirting for fun
Among the geisha flirtation is a game. It doesn’t lead to sex or a relationship and certainly not to marriage. Japanese men know that when a geisha says he is the handsomest man on earth and she is madly in love with him, she is playing. At the end of the evening geisha bid their customers goodnight with a chaste kiss on the cheek. Their inaccessibility makes them all the more desirable.
- ‘A clever woman never lets a man know how clever she is.’
Some geisha are the lovers of government officials and might even make suggestions about policy. But they always ensure that the man thinks it is he who has had the great idea. An American told me that after a geisha party in Tokyo his main recollection was ‘I had never realised before what a brilliant and witty man I was!’ The geisha had done their job well.
- Always let the man win
A geisha focuses on what will make the man happy, not herself. When she plays golf, the key is to be very good but not too good, so that when the customer wins – which he must – he feels he is the world’s greatest golfer. If she is not very good, he will not feel that. But if she is very good but he still wins, he can be truly proud.
- Men are little boys at heart
Even the most important, clever and powerful man enjoys being treated like a little boy. Geisha parties are full of silly games and dances which let a man relax. Geisha are always ready to massage a man’s shoulders or feet if he is stressed. They are happy to be a mother, a shoulder to cry on or a sweetheart, as required.
- Sex for fun with no guilt …
Before westerners arrived in Japan, sex was regarded as a pleasurable, healthy and natural activity. Men enjoyed procreational sex with their wives and recreational sex with geisha and other professionals. Before women married, their mothers gave them ‘pillow books’ – books of sexual instruction, mainly compiled in ancient China – to help them compete with geisha. Geisha studied the forty-eight positions and the many ways the Jade Stalk could move in the Cinnabar Cleft. They kept their pubic hair neatly clipped with a jaunty wisp at the top. A sophisticated man could assess a woman’s sexual skill by the artistry of the trimming.
- … and no limits
Geisha are not prostitutes but they often become mistresses and in that role continue the traditional approach to sex. The key is to focus on a man’s pleasure, not one’s own. The greatest aphrodisiac for the man is to feel that he is giving a woman pleasure. Geisha are adept at feigning orgasm as well as satisfying a man’s desires, no matter how outré. For the geisha love is an art form and a game, to be enjoyed without fear or inhibition.
Originally published in the Daily Telegraph in January 2006